…NOT based on true events. If I were having sex in the woods, I would not be writing about having sex in the woods. I’d be out having MORE sex in the woods… Though, maybe I shouldn’t ‘write that out loud’… (Do I need to say I’m kidding here)?
It’s called:
THE ISLAND GETAWAY…
They walked hand in hand, except for when she stopped to snap photos with her new camera. They’d come to this place many times before, but had never taken the time to explore the forest trails. Their initial interest in the island had been the surfing, but nowadays, it was much more a place of rest. Besides, it was January, and much too cold to get in the water. They weren’t 20 any more. The wind along the beach was cold and brisk, while the gaping mouth of the pathway seemed to be beckoning them in…
Around every bend, there were new marvels to photograph, and behold. There were twists and turns, and ancient mossy wooden planks set above deep puddles. The path itself felt like sponge beneath their feet. The sun lit up the sides of trees, which curved and swayed as though they were dancing, their mile high trunks reaching for the heavens. The wind died down in the thick of the trees, becoming a mild breeze, gently caressing their icy cheeks, whispering the deepest of secrets into their ears. Secrets so deep, they were unaware they were being told…
“Do you want to know what I think we should do when we get back home?” He asked. She smiled and nodded. She did not know. “I think we should get a puppy.” He told her. He’d been wanting a dog for years now, but with both their busy schedules, she’d been against the idea. She didn’t think it would be fair. “With this new job of mine,” he began, “I’ll be around a lot more, and for the times I’m not around, I’d just feel better with a dog at the house. It’s for safety. Your safety,” he said, smiling at the very transparency of his lame attempt at this little con job. They both knew they lived in one of the safest neighborhoods in the city.
“Safety, huh! How badly do you want that dog?” She asked and leaned her body into his, and stared into his eyes. She slid her hand down the back of his jeans, and the coldness of her fingers on the warm skin of his ass made him flinch. He smiled and kissed her, and told her he wanted a dog more than anything else in the whole wide world. He sounded like a young boy from one of those old Disney movies. “Even more than you want me?” She asked.
“I want nothing more than I want you,” he said, tugging on the strings of her jogging pants. He gently pushed her against a tree, and made love to her. When they were finished, she reconnected the strings at her waistband. She turned to him and said, “Do you know what I think? I mean, if it’s meant to be for our safety,” she teased, “then I propose we get ten giant porcupines instead of one slobbering dog. I will walk them on leashes, and I will feed and love them, and no one will dare come near us or our home. I want ten giant porcupines more than anything else in this whole wide world!” She giggled. She was giddy.
“You’re a regular wise guy!” He said, smiling, zipping his pants back up. She brought her camera up to her eye, and snapped a photo.
“Then it’s settled,” she said. “Sealed with a kiss!”
“If someone told you what we just did was called ‘kissing’, they were lying to you,” he said, and grabbed her ass. He pressed his lips to hers. “Now, this is a kiss!” They both laughed, and made their way back out onto the beach, and back to the cabin.
Later that night, the couple cooked dinner together. It took two people to prepare a meal in that little kitchen. The dishes were always put back in the same place and manner, but from visit to visit, the hiding spots for the cooking utensils had always changed. One never knew where to find things. When they finished eating, he poured himself a glass of wine, and sat in the rocking chair beside the fire. She spread out on the couch, and got comfy with a book. Just as she began to drift off, she was startled by an awful sound. She looked and saw her husband on the floor, writhing in pain. The sounds he made were almost not human. He clutched at his lower abdomen, and growled. “It hurts! It hurts so fucking bad!” She leapt up, and crouched near his head, feeling the sweat on his brow. He let out another scream, and told her it felt like the lower half of his body was on fire.
“It’s okay! You’re okay! You have to let me see!” She said, trying to take down his pants. He tried to fight her, begging her to leave him alone, but he was too weak with pain to fight. He’d experienced unpleasant symptoms in his penis back in university, but nothing that couldn’t be cured with a round of antibiotics. This was nothing like that. This pain was unfathomable. His wife gently peeled down his briefs, exposing a red and swollen penis. It looked almost inflated, yet it was not hard. Not like it had been back in the woods a few hours earlier. He moaned and whimpered, clutching her hand. She ran her hand back through his hair. She was almost as terrified and helpless as he was. “I don’t know what to do! We have to get you to a hospital!” They both knew that the nearest hospital was hours away. He continued to writhe in pain on the floor for a minute or more, and she could see movement in his swollen member. The man lost consciousness, as the swelling became greater. The pain was intolerable. Clear liquid spurt forth from the tiny opening of his cock, and he yelled out, eyes rolling into the back of his head. The tiny hole became bigger, stretching wider, and wider until finally she could see something pressing its way out. It appeared to be the width of a golf ball, then it shot out in an instant, and laid in the flickering light of the fire. She picked up the fleshly little mass, and looked closer. It looked like some kind of fetus with its wet, wrinkled skin, and tightly shut eyes. Its tiny mouth began to gasp for its first breaths of air. The man sat up. The pain was gone, though he was somewhat in shock. He opened his hands, and she placed the newborn pup into his palms. She suddenly thought back to their conversation in the forest trails and recalled her husband’s words and wishes, and then recalled those of her own. She fell to the floor, terrified of what she knew was to come. Her screams carried out across the ocean waves, where they could be heard for miles and miles…
THE END.
~Kelly Haigh.
